Who will Hisham Hussein arrest first?

APRIL 16— After an eternity in the ministry of education, where he managed to promise people indefinitely that he would try to bring policies that will stop the muck education is in for decades — now he can start to play police and thief, as the home minister.

So Hishamuddin ‘Always endeavouring to look strong and manly by gripping effeminately phallic symbols like keris’ Hussein, is now the man sent to replace baldy.

It is too tempting to not guess who is on the printed list Hisham places under his pillow nightly, hoping it would give a sense of strength in his dreams.

Despite the physical frailties of the man, to show he is a true blue-blood, he will arrest someone at least, a statement to all those who used to tease him in school, “Never again”.

So who will be in that list eh? Well here we go — “Our top ten of who Hisham will arrest under the ISA soon”.

10. Himself

The man is a chip from a chip, so he is not your Einstein type. He was the type when back in school picked heroes based on whose name was easier to spell. So by arresting himself first, he will negate the idea that only those from the opposition can be arrested, and that there is nothing abnormal or strange about being a political prisoner. This of course would last 24 hours, like the Sin Chew reporter last year, except he’ll get air-condition and cable.

9. Raja Petra Kamaruddin.

Najib relies on Blue Ocean Strategy, Hisham never to be outdone by a cousin, uses old Confuses says 50 things notebook ( He did not manage to notice that the Jamaican dude in the book was still alive and not a larger than life philosopher from China until graduation day, when he pointed the book out to his friends as his main source of inspiration).

Rule #13, what worked before, well it should work again, unless you did not pay the power bill.

Raja Petra has extensive recent ISA experience, so he fits the bill. So play it again, Sam.

8. Anwar Ibrahim

Now this is not about reducing his likeability of being arrested, just that he won’t be the first one. Firstly, because Hisham is scared to do it, and second, he’ll have to round up enough people before he goes for former mentor Anwar.

7. Lim Guan Eng

Now the Penang chief minister has rarely put a foot wrong these days when it comes to the law, but since he is DAP’s secretary general he has to go. Sorry.

6. The Perak speaker

Well V Sivakumar has just been a thorn on the side of the new BN government in Perak, and well, this is a great solution, of sorts, Hisham thinks.

5. The editor in chief of Utusan Malaysia

Not really. But we had a filler and we thought putting a shock choice might increase blog readership.

4. Some Borneo person

Since there is always cries for attention from that side of the federation, a good arrest will help send the message that “we do care”. Good money would be on either one of those environmentalists getting in the way of dam construction, or an MP on the verge of actually defecting.

3. Chin Peng

Why not? The man wants to come home, a communist and Perak-born. We let him have his right of return, then conveniently ignore the Haatyai Treaty of 1989 and arrest him. Kamunting is not too far from Setiawan and daddy Hussein was a big fan of arresting people suspected of being communists. This one is a self-confessed one.

Hisham will brag that Chin Peng gets his wish, but any right has a price.

2. Unregistered Hindraf leaders

Now, since the release of the two Hindraf leaders, BN has been trying to co-opt some of the Indian activists into their fold. Possible way forwards would be society registration. Only registered Hindraf members can talk or plead politely and then get polite refusals from the BN government.

Just like MIC except you get to keep your Hindraf button badge. Those not registered, well, get arrested.

1. Random bloggers

Well these bloggers are so quick and judgemental and they just take the pisser of Hisham. About time they… Oops!

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