Umno, Just Like My Grandma

Police removing bags, presumably with money and luxury goods in them from one of Najib’s residences.

“Our former president had sourced the funds prior to GE14 and was managing it,” said Zahid Hamidi, the acting president of Umno.

I sourced the quote from Umno’s own New Straits Times, so that we are absolutely sure, that Zahid is not misrepresented. Thor be shamed, if we ever misspeak of the fallen Umno leaders.

He was of course referring to the police seizure of RM130 million in cash and about RM200 million in gems from premises linked to Najib, the report went on to detail.

So, rakyat, shall we be meanies, and keep “Umno’s” money?

Tempting, let’s be fair.

Cash cow

How about delving further into it?

There are various ways to securely keep money especially for a multi-million equity owning political party like Umno — actually nothing in this or the other world is like Umno, in the size of companies they own and control, root beer anyone?

Further, wouldn’t it be easier to track expenditures if it was not cash?

Where would they procure cash?

Najib, has an excuse for everything.

Umno never collects small donations at its events, unlike Pakatan Harapan, which means they been getting funds from larger donors in cash. But why cash? Something to hide, these companies and special interests?

Which is why they are so like my grandma. She’s growing senile as my cousins attest, though I’m not wholly convinced, but it is nevertheless true she keeps any money given to her under her pillow.

No bank will do, as she does not trust them. It’s only safe for her if she can physically see the loot daily. A bit like Umno.

Her Rupees get eaten up by termites or bugs, I’m not sure which, but I am guessing the ex-pm has better pest control compared to Alangudi villagers.

I suppose if the police found the cash, they’d would have the cash register  which records all the cash logged in and disbursed. That would be sensible. It would be rude to suggest a party in absolute power for sixty years, well experienced in government, found it unnecessary to record the movement of RM130 million. Very crude an accusation.

Perhaps the ex-dpm, the acting head of Umno, Zahid has the records to the spending. After all they had this problem in 2013, when RM2.6 billion party funds were found in Najib’s account. They could have learnt from the mistake. Just an observation.

By the way, should the party not be offended, in the aftermath of a close election they lost, by the fact their ex-president was holding on to cash which could have been spent to win more votes?

The ringgit which may have saved some of their former ministers from embarrassment on voting day. Not all of them are fortunate enough to have military or police camps in their constituencies to get them out of electoral jail.

Questions lead to questions

Zahid, in troubled waters.

I do believe it is premature to be overly cynical of Zahid, for technically he has only been elected as Umno vice-president. The earlier removal of Muhyiddin Yassin and the recent demise of Najib, has forced him to the party throne. For the past two weeks only.

Perhaps he is getting acquainted with the money disbursement culture in Umno, especially the reliance on cash, literally living Najib’s moto “cash is king”.

It is a bit queer regardless the Umno culture of its leaders holding on to cash at their residences.

Very peculiar.

If I was the police, I won’t just hand over the money to Umno, just because Zahid and Najib say so. I’d probably investigate a bit more.

And I don’t know if the gems and luxury goods are also Umno property. Are they?

Some invest in gold and artwork, maybe Umno does too. Bags, jewellery and other luxury goods may appreciate over time.

What do I know, what do any of us rakyat know, we never have RM130 million lying around our houses. We can’t calculate the number of satay sticks we can buy with it.


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